A trauma-informed guide for parents and carers
Recent shark attacks have caused understandable fear in our community. Children may be affected by media, adult conversations, or discussions at school or surf clubs. Some children will talk openly about worries, while others show fear through behaviour, emotions, or physical symptoms.
Feeling heard, supported, and not rushed is the strongest protective factor. Every child responds differently. There is no “right” timeline for feeling safe again.
Regulate first, then talk
Safety comes before understanding.
Your calm presence signals: “You’re safe now”
Helping children feel safe – be the calm
Children borrow their calm from adults.
- Slow your breathing
- Speak softly
- Stay close and present
You might say: “I’m here.” • “You’re not alone.”
Offer gentle physical comfort (if they want it)
Safe touch can help the nervous system settle.
- A hug or sitting close
- Holding hands
- Wrapping in a towel or blanket
You might say: “Your body is safe right now.”
Help the body slow down
Simple breathing and movement reduce fear.
- Breathe together: “Smell the flower… blow out the candle.”
- Slow counting
- Gentle walking or stretching
Ground in the present
Grounding helps bring attention back to now.
- Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can feel, 3 you can hear
- Hold a familiar object (towel, rashie, soft toy)
- Wash hands with warm water
Use play to calm and connect
Play helps children regulate and feel understood.
- Drawing or colouring,
- Playing with toys or Pretend play
- Gentle humour
Talking comes after calm – when your child is calmer, gently invite conversation
Start by listening
- “How are you feeling about going back into the water?”
- “What’s been worrying you?”
Listen without correcting or rushing reassurance.
Acknowledge feelings:
- “That makes sense after what’s happened.”
- “Your body was really scared.”
- “I’m glad you told me.”
You don’t need all the answers — being present is enough.
Keep information age-appropriate
- Limit exposure to news, social media, and repeated discussions
- Answer questions honestly and simply
- Reassure children that adults, surf lifesavers, and emergency services are working to keep people safe
Follow their pace
Avoid pressure to “be brave” or “just get back in.”
- Let your child decide when they are ready
- Start small: sitting on the sand, paddling at the shoreline, or walking in shallow water
- Celebrate small steps — progress doesn’t need to happen all at once
Model Calm and Confidence
Children take cues from adult behaviour.
- Be mindful of language around the water
- Speak calmly, even if you feel anxious
- Share coping strategies: “I feel nervous too, so I’m taking it slowly.”
Restore a Sense of Safety
Predictability helps children feel secure.
- Stick to familiar beaches and routines
- Go when surf lifesavers are present
- Point out safety measures such as patrol flags and lifeguards
Avoid: “Nothing bad will ever happen.”
Instead say: “We can’t control everything, but we’re doing things that help keep us safe.”
Watch for ongoing distress
Some children may need extra support. Signs include:
- Ongoing fear or refusal to go near the beach
- Nightmares or sleep difficulties
- Increased clinginess, irritability, or withdrawal
- Persistent physical complaints
If concerns continue, seek support from a school counsellor, GP, or mental health professional.
Remember
- Big reactions are normal after frightening events
- Your child is not being difficult — their body is protecting them
- Feeling safe comes before understanding
- You don’t have to do this perfectly
When children feel safe with trusted adults, their nervous system can begin to settle and heal. Moving slowly now helps rebuild confidence and enjoyment in the water over time.
