Difficult times can affect anyone. Learn about common signs of stress in men, practical ways to cope, and where to find mental health support, relationship support, financial counselling and crisis support.
Everyone goes through difficult times. But men can sometimes experience, express or respond to stress in different ways. Some men may try to handle things on their own, avoid talking about what is happening, or wait until things feel overwhelming before reaching out.
If you are struggling, it does not mean you are weak or failing. It means you are human. Difficult times can feel easier to manage with the right support, and you do not have to face them alone.
Whether you are dealing with financial pressure, relationship problems, family separation, work stress, unemployment, grief, health concerns, gambling, alcohol or drug use, legal issues or loneliness, support is available.
Common causes of difficult times for men
Difficult periods in life can be triggered by many different pressures. Sometimes one issue becomes stressful on its own. Other times, several challenges build up at once.
Common causes of stress and difficult times for men may include:
- financial problems or debt
- problems at work
- unemployment, redundancy or job insecurity
- relationship problems or separation
- separation from children or family
- child custody or visitation issues
- physical health problems
- mental health concerns
- environmental events or natural disasters
- grief after the death of someone close
- increased alcohol or drug use
- gambling harm
- bullying, harassment or workplace conflict
- questions or concerns around sexuality
- homelessness or housing stress
- trauma or abuse
- criminal or legal issues
- pressure related to running a small business
- major changes in life circumstances.
Whatever the cause, it is important to recognise when stress is affecting your wellbeing and to seek support early.
Common signs of stress in men
Stress does not always look like sadness or worry. For some men, stress may show up as anger, irritability, risk-taking, withdrawal, exhaustion or physical symptoms.
You may notice:
- headaches, muscle tension, aches and pains
- changes in weight or appetite
- feeling angry, aggressive, restless or reckless
- feeling tired, flat or lacking motivation
- nervousness, agitation or fidgeting
- feeling down, anxious, lonely, numb or overwhelmed
- increased use of alcohol or drugs
- increased gambling or other high-risk behaviours
- withdrawing from friends, family or community
- difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- trouble sleeping, or sleeping much more than usual
- feeling helpless or out of control
- losing interest in activities you usually enjoy
- feeling hopeless, guilty, like a failure, or like a burden
- thoughts of harming yourself or someone else
- feeling like nothing you do will fix the situation.
If you recognise any of these signs, it may be time to pause and reach out for support.
How to get through tough times
There is no single “right” way to cope. Different strategies work for different people. What matters is taking one step that helps you feel safer, more supported and more able to manage what is happening.
1. Recognise when you are not coping
Pay attention to changes in your body, thoughts, behaviour and emotions. You might notice that you are becoming more withdrawn, drinking more, snapping at people, sleeping poorly, feeling constantly on edge, or losing interest in things you normally enjoy.
It can also help to listen if family, friends, colleagues or loved ones express concern about your wellbeing or behaviour. Sometimes people close to us notice changes before we do.
Recognising that you are not coping is not a failure. It is a sign that you may need more support.
2. Take practical action where you can
When life feels out of control, small practical steps can help. You may not be able to fix everything at once, but you may be able to take one action that reduces pressure.
This could include:
- booking an appointment with your GP
- speaking with a financial counsellor
- asking for support at work
- making a plan for the next 24 hours
- writing down what needs to be done first
- contacting a support service
- talking to someone you trust
- getting advice about legal, housing or relationship issues.
Focus on what is within your control today. One small step can help create momentum.
3. Look after your physical health
Stress can affect your body as well as your mind. Looking after your basic needs can make difficult times easier to manage.
Try to:
- eat regular meals
- drink enough water
- get outside if you can
- move your body in a way that feels manageable
- rest when possible
- keep a regular sleep routine
- make time for activities that help you relax.
You do not need to make big changes all at once. Start with one small thing that supports your body today.
4. Talk about what is happening
Talking can help reduce pressure, organise your thoughts and make you feel less alone. You do not need to have the perfect words. You can simply say, “I’m having a tough time,” or “I don’t think I’m coping.”
You might talk to:
- a mate
- a partner or family member
- someone at work
- your GP
- a counsellor
- a support group
- Lifeline.
If you are not sure who to talk to, Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on 13 11 14.
5. Reduce alcohol and drug use
Alcohol and drugs can feel like a way to cope in the short term, but they can make problems harder to manage over time. They may affect judgement, increase conflict, worsen mood, disrupt sleep and create health, work, relationship or financial issues.
If you are worried about your alcohol or drug use, you can speak with your GP or contact the National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline on 1800 250 015.
6. Avoid gambling and other high-risk activities
Gambling, reckless behaviour or other high-risk activities may offer a short-term distraction, but they can quickly make stress worse. Gambling harm can affect finances, relationships, work, housing and mental health.
If gambling is becoming difficult to control, confidential support is available through the National Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858.
7. Book a health check with your GP
A visit to your GP can be a useful starting point, even if you do not feel physically sick.
Let your GP know if you are experiencing:
- headaches, aches or pains
- sleep problems
- significant weight change
- ongoing anger, anxiety or panic
- low mood or depression
- increased alcohol or drug use
- gambling concerns
- thoughts of harming yourself or someone else.
Your GP can help assess what is happening, suggest treatment options, and connect you with other supports.
8. Stay connected
When life feels hard, it can be tempting to withdraw. But connection is one of the most important protective factors during difficult times.
You might:
- catch up with a mate
- call or text someone you trust
- join a local group
- reconnect with a hobby
- volunteer
- spend time with family
- attend a support group
- get involved in community activities.
You do not need a big social circle. Even one safe person or one supportive group can make a difference.
When to seek immediate support
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call Triple Zero (000).
If you are feeling overwhelmed, distressed, unable to cope, or having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support.
You can also text Lifeline on 0477 13 11 14 or use online chat at lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat.
If reading this article has brought up difficult feelings or concerns about your wellbeing, please reach out for support. You may wish to speak with someone you trust, contact your GP, or call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
Support services for men during difficult times
Lifeline
Phone: 13 11 14
Text: 0477 13 11 14
Online chat: lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat
Lifeline provides 24/7 crisis support for people in Australia who are feeling overwhelmed, distressed or unable to stay safe.
Lifeline Northern Beaches, Mosman to Kirribilli
Phone: 02 9949 5522
Website: lifelinenb.org.au
Local services include face-to-face counselling, financial counselling, support groups and self-help resources.
MensLine Australia
Phone: 1300 78 99 78
Website: mensline.org.au
MensLine Australia provides free professional 24/7 telephone and online counselling support for men with relationship, family, mental health and wellbeing concerns.
NSW Mental Health Line
Phone: 1800 011 511
A free 24/7 NSW Health phone service that connects people with mental health advice, assessment and referral to appropriate NSW Health mental health services.
Headstart
Website: headstart.org.au
A mental health navigation tool that helps people find free and low-cost mental health support, including local and online services.
Relationship and family support
Family Relationship Advice Line
Phone: 1800 050 321
Website: familyrelationships.gov.au
A national telephone service for people affected by relationship issues, separation, divorce or parenting arrangements.
Relationships Australia NSW — Northern Beaches Centre
Website: relationshipsnsw.org.au/locations/northern-beaches/
Provides relationship counselling, family dispute resolution, group programs and other relationship support services for residents of the Northern Beaches.
1800RESPECT
Phone: 1800 737 732
Text: 0458 737 732
Website: 1800respect.org.au
Free, confidential 24/7 counselling, information and support for people impacted by domestic, family or sexual violence.
Alcohol, drug and gambling support
National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline
Phone: 1800 250 015
Free and confidential 24/7 information and support for people concerned about their own or someone else’s alcohol or drug use.
Alcohol and Drug Information Service NSW
Phone: 1800 250 015
Website: yourroom.health.nsw.gov.au
A free and confidential 24/7 counselling, information and referral service for people in NSW affected by alcohol or other drug use.
Gambling Help Online / National Gambling Helpline
Phone: 1800 858 858
Website: gamblinghelponline.org.au
Free, confidential 24/7 support for people experiencing gambling harm, as well as family and friends affected by someone else’s gambling.
Legal, financial and practical support
LawAccess NSW
Phone: 1300 888 529
Website: legalaid.nsw.gov.au
Free legal information and referral support for people in NSW. Available Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm, excluding public holidays.
Community Legal Centres NSW
Website: clcnsw.org.au
Community legal centres provide free legal help to people and communities in NSW, especially people experiencing financial hardship or other disadvantage.
Services Australia
Website: servicesaustralia.gov.au
Government payments and services, including Centrelink, Medicare and Child Support. The Brookvale Service Centre is located at Warringah Mall.
LocalKind Northern Beaches
Phone: 02 9977 1066
Website: localkind.org.au
Local community support for vulnerable and at-risk people, including support related to homelessness, domestic and family violence, refugees, families, youth and children.
Vinnies NSW
Phone: 13 18 12
Website: vinnies.org.au
Support for people in immediate crisis, including food, clothing, everyday essentials, help with bills and referrals to other services.
Soldier On
Phone: 1300 620 380
Website: soldieron.org.au
Support for current and former Australian Defence Force personnel and their families.
Local men’s groups and community connection
Local groups can help men build connection, routine and support. Lifeline Northern Beaches, Mosman to Kirribilli provides information about support groups and local men’s groups through its website.
Website: lifelinenb.org.au/services/support-groups/
You do not have to do this alone
It takes strength to ask for help. Whether you are dealing with stress, grief, relationship problems, financial pressure, health concerns, gambling, alcohol or drug use, or thoughts of suicide, support is available.
If you need immediate support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
